I haven't celebrated Valentine's Day in years...over 10 at least. During this time I've not always been single, so your theory that I was a "bitter, snubbed single woman" isn't true. I really DO dislike the day. Is it considered a "holiday?" If it is, shame on whoever decided that one. I USED to celebrate Valentine's Day. When I was a young, no longer virginal high school senior. I had my first virginity-stealing boyfriend, Mike Herrling. (ha! totally naming names here, bitches!) He spoiled me rotten! Sickeningly, oh-my-God-what-kind-of-hold-does-she-have-over-him rotten. We're talking fresh red roses, chocolate red roses, fake roses from gas stations that smell like your Grandma's rose perfume...everything. Ya...the stuffed animals and candy too. Maybe even a home cooked meal too. Ya. I was spoiled. Which is maybe why just a year later everything was so shockingly different.
The following Valentine's Day I was away at school. He and I were "still together" and "not seeing other people" while I was away. You know, that whole really important decision that must be made when going off to college. I couldn't WAIT to see him! Just a couple of months ago he came up to visit me at school and rented a dirty little hotel room (all he could afford) and spread rose petals all over everything and we...well we really thought those rose petals smelled damn nice! I couldn't wait to see what he had planned...did he save up for the Motel 6 this time? He stepped into the room, gave me a hug and kiss and handed me a paper bag. A small paper bag. Whoo hoo! What could it be?! It was a bottle of Peach Schnapps. A flask-sized bottle of Peach Schnapps. The guy couldn't even spring for one of those big bottles...after all...it was VALENTINE'S DAY.
Needless to say I was completely shocked, crushed. I cried the whole weekend. He tried to comfort me, but how do you get over that when this is your boyfriend of over 2 yrs? He left and that was the last time he and ever slept next to each other.
A month later when I returned home for Spring Break I found him in his apt-with the lights off- with Mary Decker (ohh! names again!) He wouldn't even open the door to my knocking. He finally did and I pushed past him only to find her curled up in a terrified little ball at the end of the couch (I'm 5'9 and played field hockey for 8 yrs...defense...do you blame her?) I doubled him over with a punch to the gut and ran down the stairs blinded-and winded- by the pain in my heart. I cried in my car for an hour and he never came down. He shut his phone off and never tried calling. That was the last time I ever saw him. The reason for me telling that story is because after that, I never saw V-Day the same way again.
That year I learned the hard way that no matter how many boxes of candy or flowers you get, it doesn't take the place of just being loved. I started seeing it as a way to "force" someone into showing love and affection towards their loved ones, whether truly felt or not. Mike felt he needed to give me a gift, and it's obvious his heart wasn't in it...but it was EXPECTED of him, by me and well...everyone. It's a Hallmark holiday. If you love your family and friends, they should know that 365 days a year. They shouldn't need a gift, whether it's those roses or that liquor, to be reminded of that. If they do, then you're not doing a good job of appreciating them every day.
Upon returning home for the summer I left that bottle of unopened Peach Schnapps in front of Mike's apartment door. I'm sure the act was lost on him but it was a gift to him from me...to thank him for this life lesson.
