I was recently faced with a tough choice. Well, I guess it wasn't so tough after all because I was able to make it and not only sleep at night, but sleep better than I had slept in a while.
You see, I am faced with the possibility of someone I know and care(d) deeply about is making some dangerous-and possibly illegal- decisions in relation to their business. I've always has my suspicions when it came to the validity of the claims made by this person's associate. My gut always told me not to trust this associate from the moment I met them a couple of years ago.
I couldn't- and still can't- really put my finger on it. This person is very nice. Very friendly. Charming...the whole nine. This person was never anything but nice to me face-to-face, and who knows? Probably behind my back too. But again, my gut was just screaming that something wasn't right.I had cancelled numerous get-togethers with this "friend" because I had found out the associate was going to be there and I don't even like being in the same room as this person.
It took a very long time for me to gather the courage to approach my "friend" with some information that I had come upon when looking into their associate's past. It seems as if most-if not everything- that this person passes themselves off to be is a lie. I'm sure their name is correct. And I'm sure the state that they lived in prior to moving their entire family down the street from my "friend" is the right state. But you know what? I truly believe that is where the truth ends. This associate had lied to me on a number of occasions. A few I called them out on, a few I let slide. But that shit builds up, ya know? They are definitely one of those individuals that is a textbook case of "if your lips are moving you are lying."
This "friend" graciously thanked me for the information I passed along and that was the end of it. Immediately after this conversation their associate ceased all communication with me even though we were involved in a project together. I never heard another word from this person. This is just as well because frankly I was sick of putting on a happy face and pretending that I was stupid to all of the lies and games and pretending I didn't know of the fraud they were taking part in. Well....it seems that this person didn't like the fact that I actually had a brain in my head and questioned this information that they fed to everyone around them....those little disciples that were more than happy to drink the kool aid.
So anyway. In my extreme desire to get some answers I hired a private investigator to look into not only this associate, but a few other related details this as well. Needless to say this didn't go over well AT ALL with this "friend" who claims they did checking of their own. (they never spoke of the results so I'm assuming they didn't really look or didn't care what came up). My claim is and always was/will be: what's the problem with me spending MY money to conduct a complete check on a person I think is a part of defrauding not only their associates, but any current and future business partners IF THERE'S NOTHING TO HIDE? Again, this is not a very welcome view of things.
Due to a recent very angry correspondence from this "friend" claiming that I was "ruining everyone's lives" if I submit a tip to the IRS via their tip line, (long story-completely unrelated tweet mentioning an article I had read where there is a tip line to report people suspected of financial improprieties) I contacted an attorney and showed them this message and they recommended I immediately cut all ties with this organization and its people (including "friend") because the contents of the message hint to some illegal activity happening that they are afraid of being found out. The attorney said that whether or not these individuals are truly guilty of anything, it would be in not only my best interest, but the best interest of my husband (who works in finance) to distance myself from what will -if anything illegal is going on- end up being a very ugly situation. I was told that the MAN will find out no matter what. The MAN ALWAYS FINDS OUT.
I was asked on numerous occasions to let this go and asked why it consumed me so much etc. And they are right...in a way. You see...I'm a slow burn. I can-and will- take a lot of crap and not do anything. Sure I'll make snide remarks under my breath or bitch to my husband but I rarely confront. But it just takes one tiny little thing. I don't know when. I don't know how much it takes. It just takes one thing to make the bulls come out of the gate and then there's no turning back and the only way I'm going to stop the running is if I have a gory ass on my horn.
I was given an ultimatum by "friend". "Friend" essentially said if I pursue this our "friendship" was over. Little did "friend" know that this was a threat that fell on an empty heart because I considered the friendship dead for months. I was merely going through the motions with them. Right from the beginning I felt "friend" chose associate over me. Not in the "oh I like associate more!" way but in the way of where associate consumed "friend's" entire waking life. There was nothing left and the friendship wasn't nurtured from that side of the fence and I watched it die because it takes 2 people to make a friendship successful. I was tired of giving and I felt my frustration coming through in conversations with "friend" (professional conversations, of course. We hadn't had a strictly friendly phone call in years) In actuality, I mourned the end of the friendship last year...complete with crying and listening to sappy songs and everything. So when the "end" came for them, it meant absolutely nothing to me. It was almost a relief because I had been living my own lie for a long time. I was lying to not only "friend" but to myself and everyone around me that I even liked "friend" anymore. They were not- ARE NOT- the same person that I held such a special place in my heart for. They are a stranger. If we met on a subway, I would not even give them a second glance.
Sooo...here I am. I am waiting for the PI to get back to me with reports on his investigation but the results are merely to satisfy my curiosity and to prove to myself once and for all if my gut is right on with this person. Based on the fact that the friendship ended in a very ugly manner and that I am considered public enemy #1 in that circle...I figure the results are definitely going to make a nice read. If anything good has come out of this, I definitely have a great storyline for my novel.
PS- You know those sappy songs I mentioned? Here is one that meant the most:
I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now
Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along
