I'm having one of those days. They come every once in a while. I don't know what-if anything- triggers them. Actually there have been very few lately, but that's probably just because the hurt is still so new and there was plenty of clear thinking behind the decision to cut ties...it wasn't a decision made from emotions running high.
Lying in bed this morning I just started thinking about how I miss my old friend. The one I recently had to cut ties with. I'm in no way regretting the stance I took in the situation because I still believe in everything I had said. (Side note: the damn PI supposedly found some information yet is dragging his feet in getting it to me. Yes, I am surrounded by honest, integrity-filled people.) Anywho I was thinking about this person and it led to this tweet:
"I miss you. The old you. The new you can kiss my a$$ seven ways from Sunday. But I could go for a hug and a bottle of wine from the old you."
And that sums up what I'm feeling perfectly. When these waves of sadness come over me, that sums those up as well. I guess you could say that I'm in the 4th stage of the grieving process...the sadness/depression. I'm getting closer to the end, though. I'm really starting to accept that the old friend is gone, and this newly created person has killed off any signs of life of the old one. And not only do I not like what this new person stands for and the decisions they make professionally, but these ideals have colored their personality. My friendship was no longer needed, therefore no longer cherished and respected. And this is what I am mourning. When this happens in your life where do you typically turn? In my case it was an old friend with a bottle of wine.
And so we've come full circle...
